Paint Update

My entire body is speckled in paint. My shoulders hurt so bad I am in agony just sitting still. My shin splints have come back from climbing up and down the ladder twelve thousand times. I have paint caked in my hair. My eyes have gone twitchy. My fingers are rubbery. My brain is whacked. I have no feeling in my tongue. My eyelashes are falling out. Both of my ears are sagging and my left quadrant exosocometer is drooping out. My toes are bungled. Hydroceph is cockeyed. Nails are grim. Nostrils linty. Overall feeling of please say I never have to pick up a paint brush again.

Unfortunately I am only about... maybe... almost... but not quite... half way there.

If there is a good thing about this hellish predicament I find myself in - of having to paint an entire house - it is that I can drink as much REAL coca cola and eat as much ice cream as I want. Painting burns it all off. Plus, I don't pee anymore. I just sweat. Sweat and sweat and sweat. Or maybe that means my kidneys are shutting down. Add kidneys shutting down or trickleometers broken to above list.